And then I saw the list of successful candidates in Interior Design Batch 2012. My name wasn't in it. Tears just suddenly overwhelmed and dropped on my cheeks. I didn't make it. I've failed. And my sister tried to hug me for comfort but disappointment was just overpowering me and all I really wanted to do was hide. From the shame, from the embarrassment, from everything and everyone. From failing.
Its like all the years I have planned out for myself, crumbling to pieces, making me question myself whether or not I am taking the right path. Is this what I am really suppose to be doing in life? Was I meant to do this? Asking God to guide me and comfort me because I needed Him the most right then.
I guess in a way, I've expected the worst but just now seeing my name not on that one list that I badly wanted to be a part of just made it so.... official.
"Even the best falls down sometimes"
-Howie Day
But I am not ready to give up.. yet.
Honestly, I am scared of what lies ahead of me. I am afraid because I don't know which direction I am headed next. But I know God and my family are with me despite anything. And I am not about to stop because I know that I 've come so far to stop fighting for what I've always believed in now. I also know that I am not alone. That there's someone out there feeling the same way as I am and just not being able to voice it out. Probably not even in the situation as I am going through but understands what I am saying. All is going to be well. Even when you feel like you are hanging on the thinnest thread... God will be there to catch you when you fall.
And that concludes this entire experience. It was one crazy joy-ride.So here's a little something to lift up your spirits despite the very emotional entry.
Cheers,
Cheers,
Karen
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